Faith

When we found out that I was pregnant with Carson, we had only been married for a few months. We were both working at the time, and I was going to school full time. We were unsure of what to do. Should I quit school and stay at home with Carson (even though my school was paid for)? Should I continue school? What about the work situation? We had a lot of questions and no answers. Everyone around us had their versions of the answers for us. We decided to turn to the Lord in prayer. We both felt that I should continue school, but one of us should always be home with the kids. That is when we came up with our plan. I would go to school and stay home with Carson while Jordan worked full time to support us. I would work a few hours when Jordan was home to help. When I graduated, I would teach to put Jordan through school and he could be home with the kids. When he finished school, he would get a job and I could return home with the kids. We prayed about our plan and again felt that this was the right path for us. Many people didn't agree with it or couldn't understand why we decided on this, but we didn't care. We knew we had prayed and received our answer.

Well fast forward almost 7 years later, Jordan is graduating May 1st. Life hasn't been as easy as we thought it would be when we decided on this plan. It feels like we are finally at the end of a long, long road. Right now we are in the process of finding Jordan a job (something much easier said than done). This job hunting is very frustrating at times. Do we move? Do we stay? Can we find a job that will allow me to stay home? Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very black and white personality. I am a planner. I like to have my ducks in a row at all times. This uncertainty of life is really testing me. I know it will work out. However, I am not a patient one. Through this I am learning patience and faith. Monday night I became frustrated with it all. I turned to my scriptures for comfort. I happened to be in Mosiah and read about Abinadi. I have read this story numerous times, but I felt differently about it on this occasion. I thought here is a man who knows that people want to capture him and he goes back in disguise anyway. Once he is back, he professes he is Abinadi and begins teaching. He knows what is going to happen to him (and it is in no way pleasant), yet he had the faith to go back. This made me think of Samuel the Lamanite as well. He was similar in how he went back to a hostile environment. These men had incredible faith. Why can't I? I am already blessed to have a job. I can work another year if I need to. We are trying to do what the Lord has asked of us. Why wouldn't he bless us with a fabulous job opportunity? There are so many examples of inspiration in the scriptures. I am so grateful for the scriptures!